Current Status

Three weeks ago, deeply depressed and in a very dark place, I decided that I needed something. I didn’t know what that was. I knew only that in the past praying helped. It took me out of negative places and suicidal thoughts. So, I decided to pray, but not in the traditional format. I did some affirmative prayer.

I am worthy. I am lovable. I have friends. I am loved. The universe cares for me.

Immediately, I started to feel better. Seeing that it worked, I decided to go back to the literature where I learned about affirmative prayer.

Years ago, when I was doubting the Christian faith and still going to church, I came across the Silent Unity website. I wrote an e-mail to a Unity pastor, and he kindly mailed me some magazines. Β When I finally left the fundamentalist church I found a Unity church to go. But I couldn’t understand anything. They talked a lot about Jesus. But they didn’t worship Jesus or see him as a savior. They talked about god, but the god within them, not a god up in the clouds. I just couldn’t wrap my head around the teachings and the jargon: “We are all one,” Β “My higher self”, “I salute the divine within you.”

After trying for a year on and off, I declared it bullshit and left. However, the teaching did help me, at a psychological level. Saying the affirmations is a great way to change habits and help self-belief.

Now, years later, after having tried pure atheism for a few years, I find myself thirsty for something. Unity offers me something I can work with. It is imperfect. But it helps. And right now, I can use anything that will help. As well, I’m reading Religious Science literature, and other books, such as Tolle’s New Earth.

So, join me in this journey of self-made spirituality.

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11 thoughts on “Current Status

  1. Yay, glad to be a part of it.

    I know what you mean about something being imperfect but it helping. I had a quick look at the Unity site and I think I’d feel right at home there (except for the times I would be feeling like I was an alien there, but maybe that’s just me πŸ˜‰ I always struggle with group things, even though I want them too.

    I do love that whole “saluting the divine within you”. To me these days, whenever I see the words of Jesus, that seems to be exactly what he was talking about – “the kingdom of heaven is within you” and all of that stuff that is more than enough for any person to sort out in their life without all of that bullshit that gets compacted down into fundamentalist religion. So yeah, I think I’ll feel right at home here. Thanks for the invite.

    • Thank you so much for coming. I think I will only have a couple of readers, since most atheists–my readership on the other blog– would think I need medication.

      Come to think of it, I do need medication. But deluding myself with an imaginary universal power is cheaper and healthier πŸ™‚

      • Thanks for the invite, I’ll certainly join you here. I do think Unity may be interesting to me, too, but for now, The Four Agreements, A New Earth, Louise Hays books, and a host of others are doing it for me. My “church” is my customers and clients. I am a very “servant” hearted person, so helping people buy or sell homes really fills the bill for me. And I so agree with susieq, now when I hear the words of Jesus spoken, they have a whole new meaning to me – one I was never taught in my church. Now I think of Jesus as a great teacher, a highly evolved master, but not my lord and saviour. I do not feel there is anything to be saved from, except maybe the “judge” within all of us, and only we as individuals can fight that fight. But I would not share that with many people, I just do not want to take the “heat” right now.

  2. Diane,

    I love “A New Earth” and “The Power of Now.” Tolle is such an enlightened person. I love it because I understand him. People have been saying the same stuff for centuries, but I don’t understand them. It’s as if E. Tolle is giving us the “New Living Translation” of New Thought.

  3. Thank you for the invite Spiritual Skeptic. As you know I understand that “dark place” of depression. Have had my shares of ups and downs that way. In a strange way, my atheism is my spirituality. I look forward to following your journey.

    • I don’t think is strange that atheism is your spirituality. I believe that atheists are quite spiritual, in the sense that they listen to themselves, follow their gut, and do what they think is right. Thank you for showing your support by coming over πŸ™‚

      I need other stuff because I have time figuring out what I want. That’s why meditation helps me.

      • You know, I got to thinking that it may come across to others that I don’t need “other stuff.” Is that the way I come across Skeptic?

        I should try and articulate what it is that I mean, but since leaving the faith there is such liberation in a sense that in a way what was already my truth is just high-lighted even more. My love for nature, for the ground, for the water, for the universe. It was all there before but always within the context of the Christian God. And every aspect of life was almost strangled by it, though I didn’t really embrace that truth until later when I started digging through it all. Then I left the faith and stood there in awe at everything I’ve always loved and that always spoke to me or helped me in my time of need.

        I think meditation is wonderful, though I can’t sit crossed-legged . . . one of my favourite places to let go and just be is in the water or at the water’s edge. That’s meditation too. Or the time when my grandmother died and I went out in the snow and made a snow angel as part of my grieving for her. Not because I was thinking of her being an angel in heaven or even that she was in heaven; but it was my way of saying for me, Grandma you were my angel. I love you and miss you and see grandma you are eternal to me because of your love for me and that love gets passed on to future generations.

        I commend you for taking care of you.

      • Wow, Zoe, that is exactly how I have come to feel, too. I am glad you articulated it, I have found, that since my de conversion, I have a difficult time saying what I feel. I have a theory that this happened because when I was in the church, I basically became a “parrot”, and all free thinking went away. Boy, there was an answer for everything, wasn’t there? And, like you, I stand in awe, I feel real, total awe for creation. I feel so connected to the all creation. When I try to explain this to a churchgoer, they tell me I’ve been fed a pack of lies!

  4. Thanks Diane. It may be that I don’t try to articulate it because I know someone out there, theist and non-theist are rolling their eyes. πŸ™„ πŸ™‚ You know, that whole what’s the point in trying thing. I do believe that in many cases it’s not just free thinking that goes away but also free feeling. One’s own emotional life becomes choked off as well. So, not only do we find we have a difficult time saying what we feel . . . we have a hard time feeling what we feel. 😦

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